To have a solid social footing to express who we are apart from being a Cochlear Implant recipient is one of the biggest obstacles we face. It is not the lack of competence that is hindering us. Cochlear implant user David Romanowski did well throughout his school years but only began to fully enjoy his social life after leaving school.
Growing Up With CI Was A Pain For David
David was born profoundly deaf in both ears. He was implanted in his left ear when he was three in 1991. As a kid and teenager, he struggled to find understanding from his peers to talk about his hearing conditions and needs. It undermined his self-esteem. “How do I explain that thing on my head to the girls?” David recalled the persistent thought that made him a shy and uncertain guy back then. The turning point came when he was about 23 years old.
Meeting An Older CI User Was A Turning Point
He met an older man who was a bilateral CI user. This recipient opened up David’s perspective with his upbeat and encouraging outlook. David followed him to gatherings where other elderly CI recipients were present. David found that experience life-changing. “It was so incredible to be able to talk about CI and be understood,” David said. The experience at the gatherings switched David’s outlook on his social life.
“What you believe about yourself is your truth,” David quipped. He began to believe that he is someone who could make friends and have a fulfilling social life. He started reaching out to people and speaking up for himself at work. He has since become upfront about his hearing conditions and needs with his colleagues. Little instructions like “Get my attention first before you speak to me” opens up the door for colleagues to support him and demonstrate his willingness to make things work. “It is not their fault that I have a hearing disability and neither is it mine, but I have to take full ownership and responsibility for it.”
His First Long-Term Relationship Was Another Turning Point
Another paradigm shift came when he had his first long-term relationship at around the age of 27. He used to believe for a long time that he was too abnormal in other people’s view to have a relationship. This old belief no longer takes hold of him. He enjoys meeting people and has been active with Hear for You, which pairs up deaf or hard of hearing teenagers with a mentor (who are also deaf or hard of hearing) in Australia.
David is an active member of Hear for You, a support group for deaf of hard of hearing teenagers in Australia
You could find more cochlear implant user stories here.
CI Project collects cochlear implant user stories. I’d like to invite you to join the private Facebook group. You’ll receive an update of each new story (about once a month) and will get to interact with the characters of each story there. I’m also looking for more cochlear implant user stories. I’d appreciate it if you could nominate a cochlear implant user (including yourself) for me to write a story about!